A Love Letter to the Macrodose

I want a big ass and a strong gummy.

This is a love letter to large things. Microdoses are for tourists. 

Sometimes, tourists love a place so much that they move there. As a white girl from the Caribbean, I (and my parents) can certainly understand that. 

I think fellow High Times writer Hadley Tomicki said it best in the article that is art titled “In Defense of Macrodosing” with the words (the whole essay is worth a read), “many of us entered the world of cannabis when all we had was a tin can and some dry buds the color of Hershey cocoa.” Younger stoners grew up in a world of millennial pink Indica vape pens, CBD lavender edibles blended with other aphrodisiacs, and multi-course infused dinners, low-dose, of course! Other older folks are putting behind their regressive views and embracing cannabis, but, honestly, kind of screw you if you needed daddy government’s permission to enjoy grass, if that terminology even applies anymore. Consider donating to The Last Prisoner Project if you have enough dough to shell out $120 for a box of dainty edibles clocking in at 2.5mg of THC per serving. 

But it’s true that it’s best to “start low and go slow” if you’re new to cannabis. Otherwise, you could risk gobbling down an entire 100mg brownie and trip for 24 hours, unsure if the Wookies around you are real or part of a dream, so you zip yourself up in your hot tent in West Virginia and start having spontaneous orgasms. Like what happened to me in college at a music festival, transforming me into a sexy stoner, like when that radioactive spider bit Peter Parker, transforming him into Spider-Man. Maybe you should have that experience now that I write it out. And I actually have no idea the THC content of the infamous brownie because I got it from a couple tattooed with the THC chemical structure who baked it themselves and just wanted to give ’em out. Once upon a time, the idea of THC dosage printed on a label was absurd. 

But enough about sounding old. I’m a hot girl. And I won’t say that macrodosing is “empowering” because, as we’ve established, I got my power from happy hippies at a music festival (and describing women as empowered is just so infantilizing). But there is something about popping back a big one with my best friend before we step out of the subway in our stilettos and click-clack towards the party. Maybe it’s because the devil’s weed is a woman. And, regarding the subway, now’s my chance to blame the macrodose on criminalization. Why did I get into THC gummies? They don’t smell; I can say that they’re candy, and as a result, especially before New York went legal, I feel safer carrying my enhanced sugary delights than a bag of flower. 

There are plenty of logistical reasons to argue in favor of the macrodose. It’s more bang for your buck. Companies might be trying to rip us off under the guise of low-dose, as Jimi Devine detailed in “The Great Cannabis Microdosing PR Conspiracy.” The medical marijuana world has been advocating higher THC doses forever. There’s some pain that 2.5, 5, or even 10mg won’t touch. The current cannabis dosing also doesn’t adequately consider the vast differences in bodies. As Tomicki writes, many of us grew up with the plant and now have higher tolerances. And sure, THC can be ingested to avoid emotional pain that one should probably be handling straight on and addiction exists. But I come from a harm reduction perspective. I think the idea that there is morality to sobriety or honor in suffering is absurd. It’s a medicine, and for many people, the line between medical and recreational is blurry. Would you rather I take an opioid for this migraine pain that makes me barf or opt for the plant that also handles nausea? Would you unclutch your pearls if I cut loose with tequila shots instead of a goofy gummy bear? Come on. 

But the best reason to adore the macrodose has nothing to do with logistics. The sugar-dusted 100mg gummy bear wants nothing to do with practicality. Because the best argument in favor of the macrodose is just that it’s fun. The more appealing argument for getting totally baked is that, at least for some of us, it’s frilly, frivolous, fun. 

Because yeah, low-dose aphrodisia edibles are cool, but when was the last time a micro-dose gave you spontaneous orgasms? 

  1. 100mg is not a macrodose. All these new laws limiting edibles to 100mg suck. I used to be able to buy edibles that came with 2000mg. Each individual gummy was 200mg. Writer’s at Hightimes used to be hardcore pot heads. Now it’s just a bunch of corporate tools who probably don’t even get high.

  2. My Zen moment came in college when me and 2 friends put an ounce of “gold columbian” weed in a small pan of brownies and split it 3 ways. I don’t know what the per person THC content of this would have back then (late 70’s), but I was fried and woke up the next morning in my underwear outside my apartment. Since then my mantra has been go big or go home. It was actually great fun.

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