High Horoscopes | April 2017

The High Times astrological forecast, complete with strain recommendations!

Ask Aelie anything! Find her on Facebook and Twitter.


As the saying goes, “Two steps forward, one step back.” This is a slow, fatiguing process but some progress will be made, and more importantly, whether it comes from a win or a lose, you always learn from each move you make. The trick this month is to engage with the education you’re getting—let it seep into your psyche and then adjust your behavior accordingly. You have been facing the same lesson over and over for a while now. You are on the right path but the fall-backs are taking their toll. Another saying worth paying attention to is, ‘Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” Until you remember that you are worth fighting for, this cycle will be stuck on replay. Strain recommendation: Jesus


A health scare can shake your foundation. You could end up with a renewed sense of purpose, or so scared that you hold back on living your life to the fullest. Obviously the universe would rather that you embrace your existence, but there is something to be learned from the fear as well. The idea of your personhood being extinguished, whether you believe in an afterlife or not, is overwhelming to say the least. The life you have built might no longer be. Fear of that great a loss is completely understandable. If you are struggling with this, try to remember that you are only scared because you love being alive—then lean into that love and let it lead you into peace. Strain recommendation: Fire OG


It is your month for borderless exploration: to move freely through the world without fear or roadblocks. What a shame it would be to miss out on this wonderful mojo by treating this time as any other. It must be sacred. Step out of your regularly scheduled programming. Start with an unplanned day trip with a new friend. Pick a direction and keep going until something interesting catches your eye. The goal is to only move forward and to choose beauty and intrigue over comfort and known quantities. Strain recommendations:  Tangie


Avoiding speaking the truth will create pain for you this month. In the best of circumstances, avoidance could lead to the offending issue being dropped without the need for a confrontation—but this is a rare outcome. It almost never happens that way, and yet those who fear harsh, honest dialogue often choose this tactic. This is cowardice, and you mustn’t be lured in by its promise of an easy result. Bite the bullet and say what needs to be said.  Yes, it will be hardcore, and someone will get their feelings hurt, but there are worse possible aftereffects than that lurking around the corner, waiting to jump out. Be brave and do what has to be done before matters are taken out of your hands. Strain recommendation: Red Dragon


Nothing enrages a feminist like being told to smile by some asshat on the street who thinks he’s owed positive attention from every pretty lady who passes him by. So I am really sorry to say this, but “Hey, how ‘bout a smile?”  It’s been a stressful couple of months but life is finally easing up now and while you could use some light days, the people around you need them even more. A happy look on your face will do them wonders; they’ve been concerned for you, and possibly a little weighed down by your heaviness recently. Do them, and yourself, a favor and laugh at something stupid, loudly enough for all to hear. Strain recommendation: Lemon Skunk


Busier than one could imagine possible/no time for fun/laundry not getting done (turning underwear inside out to make it last)/food is an endless series of take-out, protein shakes and 5 hour energy boosters, texts are unanswered, dishes are piling up… family time however, must be eked out! For a while you’ve managed to do just that (well done by the way)– but this month you will struggle with it. Sleep has become so treasured that it just can’t be sacrificed lest the whole precarious scaffolding you have constructed around your life falls to pieces. Seek help! Ask your friend to take the dog for a walk, maybe even pup-sit for the weekend. Take a cab instead of public transport. Shave off those precious minutes and devote them to your loved ones. Strain recommendation: Phantom Cookies


Dude, you could use a project right about now. Some structure is needed if you want to function at peak efficiency and really be of use. Piles of goo need a container in order to have shape, and so do you. Flexibility and an easygoing mindset are wonderful qualities to nurture, especially for Libras who tend towards tension and clamping down, but this month is not the time to stretch your hippie legs. You need to harness your power and get your inspiration on! Enough of this floating-about-wherever-the-wind-carries-you business. It may be relaxing but you risk your personality becoming thin as air. You need substance to keep you grounded. Strain recommendation: Shark Shock


You’ve been playing a lower key than usual. Have you noticed your lack of FOMO and general disinterest in chitchat or dressing in anything fancier than sweats? A mellow mood has got you. Don’t fight it.  Use this time to check in with your homestead—take the emotional temperature of your family, pets, plants or housemates. If you live alone then clean those mirrors and get intimate with your own face. Introspection and caregiving are two faces of the same coin, and it’s time to polish that penny up a bit. Put on your compassion goggles and take a long look. Then take a long bath, followed by an even longer nap. Strain recommendation: Blueberry Dream


You come home and notice a chair is displaced. There is a strange feeling in the air. The hair on your arm and neck rise as you make your way to the bedroom. The pieces start to fit together and you finally realize that you’ve been robbed. Family heirlooms, your electronics, even the bit of foreign cash you have left over from trips – all gone. ‘Damn I wish I had been here… actually thank god I wasn’t here… how long were they here… are they still here… why does here feel so different? It’s not home now!’ When your space, personhood or emotions are abused it is because someone else wanted something you have. It has nothing to do with you. Don’t let their story mix with yours. Yes you have to clean up afterwards, but if you let the way they perceive you affect your sense of self then you are letting them steal so much more from you than what they actually robbed. Strain recommendation: 3 Kings


Not to sound rude, but when I meditate on you these days, I see a Jabba the Hut shaped creature with a remote control in one hand and chocolate in the other. Dude, what is going on? I know it’s not a depression, though it looks like one. Is it possible to be physically depressed but feel fine? If it is then you’ve got that. Please take some time to gently ask yourself why little more than distractions, naps, sugar and hugs make you happy right now. Of course, you can say, “Well, they are some of the best things in life!’—and while I would agree, I also know that too much of the best things lead to those things becoming commonplace. For the sake of your future ability to enjoy what you enjoy now, try to enjoy it all a little less. Strain recommendation:  Sour Tsunami


An indication you are feeling ungrounded is going to excess. A little drink or two before work, another joint even though you’re already a little too high, a luxurious hour of porn followed by another in the same day, second desserts and two-hour long showers… all ways to distract your mind and soothe your body simply because your heart isn’t in it: your passion has gone. I imagine you as Dr. Frankenstein animating a dead corpse, but instead of electricity you’re using caviar and coke to entice the life back into your husk of a body. STOP. This is a sad tactic that won’t work. You know how to heal yourself, the only reason you haven’t done so yet is because you think you’re unworthy (and cause it’s not as fun).  It’s all a fiction. A disastrous dumb show that no one wants to watch. Strain recommendation: Qrazy Train


You are searching for deeper waters. Meaning used to be found everywhere and now it seems barely there. You’ve even come close to imposing purpose upon nothing but happenstance out of sheer desperation. Connection, true spiritual enlightenment, doesn’t come because you will it to. Perhaps the lack of weight in your life lately is actually the universe giving you a period of blessed lightness. Maybe you are looking a gift horse in the mouth by not allowing it to be good, have you considered that? Instead of playing the tortured artist cliché or the image of the hippie wonderer, why not let yourself be a simple person who is content? Don’t worry, soon enough some real crazy will come along and you can go as wild with it as you like. Strain recommendation: Mr. Nice

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