Marijuana Is Safer Than… Selfies?

By
Russ Belville

We all know that marijuana is safer than alcohol, tobacco, and even sugar. But did you know that marijuana is safer than taking selfies?

According to a post on Mashable, “More people have died from selfies than shark attacks this year.” There have been a dozen deaths – four by falls – as people attempt to take photos of themselves on their smartphones. The most recent was a Japanese tourist who fell while taking a selfie at India’s Taj Mahal.

Other causes of death by selfie include people who are hit by trains or shoot themselves as they try to take the perfect action shot. Some wreck their cars while they Snapchat. Then there’s the guy who got gored by a bull trying to take a selfie during one of those “running of the bulls” events in Spain.

What else is marijuana safer than, using deaths from this decade as our guide?

Marijuana is safer than cockroaches. In 2012, a Florida man choked to death on bug parts during a cockroach eating contest. Of course, it was Florida.

Marijuana is safer than hay. In 2010, a founding member of Electric Light Orchestra was killed when a 1,300-pound round hay bale rolled down a hill and crushed him in his van.

Marijuana is safer than beavers. In 2013, a man in Belarus was attacked by a beaver that bit and severed an artery in his leg, causing him to bleed out and die.

Marijuana is safer than scarves. A Turkish university student was beheaded when the scarf when was wearing on a go-kart ride got caught up in the driveshaft.

Marijuana is safer than video games. In 2012, a Chinese video gamer died following a 23-hour multi-player marathon. There was another such death in China in 2004.

Marijuana is safer than sewers. In 2012, a Russian couple died when they passed out while repairing a home sewage tank, fell in, and drowned.

Marijuana is safer than Segways. In 2010, a British man accidentally drove his Segway off of a cliff. He happened to be the owner of the Segway company.

Marijuana is safer than toy helicopters. In 2013, a young man in Brooklyn died when his remote-controlled helicopter fell from the sky and its rotor blades slashed his throat.

Marijuana is safer than bus stops. In 2014, a young man in England died after he ran into a bus stop while running to catch his bus.

The lesson here is enjoy taking that snapshot while you smoke your weed – just don’t do anything dangerous while taking your selfie.

Russ Belville

"Radical" Russ Belville hosts 'The Marijuana Agenda' on YouTube, a live weekday news/talk program all about cannabis. Learn more at MJAgenda.com.

By
Russ Belville
Tags: Radical Rant

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