Satirical ‘Help Wanted’ Ad Takes Major Jab at DEA

In a recent edition of Roll Call, the pro-pot Drug Policy Alliance (DPA) took a major jab at the Drug Enforcement Administration with a mock “Help Wanted!” ad that the organization hopes will influence President Obama’s next choice as DEA chieftain.

The subheading of the ad reads, “DEA Seeks New Leader,” a reference to the ongoing process of the White House selecting a new DEA Administrator following Michele Leonhart’s abrupt resignation. The DPA wants Obama to choose a leader that will respect states’ rights regarding legalized recreational and medicinal marijuana.

The snarky ad states that “The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) is seeking a new chief to prolong the failed war on drugs,” and that the ideal candidate should be experienced “turning a blind eye to scandal and corruption… adept at undermining the Bill of Rights.” The latter refers to DEA raids and busts which often violate the 4th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

It goes on to list “Primary Areas of Responsibility,” including “Mass Incarceration,” in which the DEA Administrator must “fill U.S. prisons with people for nonviolent drug offenses, disproportionately people of color.”

To fulfill “Police State Tactics” duties, the new drug enforcement boss will “spy on virtually all Americans without a warrant… seize people’s property even if they’re never charged or convicted of any crime.”

Also required is “Obstruction of Science,” in which the new hire will “block marijuana research at every turn and ignore established science. We prefer applicants without a scientific background.”

Another area of responsibility—“Subverting Democracy”—states that it’s necessary to “trample on states’ rights, undermine the sovereignty of other nations, and increase prohibition-related violence.”

Finally, in the last section labeled “Undermining Human Rights,” the ad explains that the latest DEA chief should expect to “work closely with foreign police agencies that torture and kill suspects, and provide assistance to foreign governments that execute nonviolent drug offenders.”

A disclaimer below the ad clearly identifies it as satire paid for by the Drug Policy Alliance, and beneath that, the DPA reveals the parody ad’s underlying intent: “Take action to reform the DEA and support our work at drugpolicy.org/DEA.”