Yo, whats good world? I’m stand-up comedian Steve Furey. I was approached by the High Times weirdos to show you what a day in the life of a comic looks like; and especially, what it’s like doing stand-up in Los Angeles. Now, why would they ask me this? Who the hell am I, and why would they think I’d be able to answer this question? Well, I moved to L.A. from Sacramento 7 years ago, after starting stand up in 2012 at 22 years old. Since moving to Los Angeles, I have been passed (sending in weekly avails so you can do sets at the clubs) at The Hollywood Improv, Westside Comedy Theater, The HaHa Comedy Club, The Ice House, and The World Famous Comedy Store. I have been on tour with Pablo Francisco, John Witherspoon, Annie Lederman, Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, and I just got off a two year arena tour with “The Machine” Bert Kreischer (fucking love that guy). Aside from the weed, weather, and women I think Los Angeles is the peak of the comedy community, and I want to give y’all a glimpse into an L.A. comic’s life. So come get high with me as we run amuck in the Southland.
9:45 – Wake up. Some kid throws fire works outside my apartment window. He normally does it during the night. Now it’s in the morning. Progress, I guess?
9:55 – Feed that cats. This must be done as early as possible, or I feel they may revolt and come for my eyes. Gotta keep Hali and Eevee happy, for my eyes’ sake.
10:00 – For breakfast I want French toast, 3 eggs and bacon. But my fat ass needs to be healthy for this new year, so we are doing two plain scrambled eggs. Starting the day off bland. Lets go!
10:15 – Pop a 5 mg edible for my morning walk. I don’t wanna get too high because I have therapy later. Nice excuse for candy in the morning; don’t tell my diet.
10:20 – Time for my morning walk with my buddy and great comic Torio Van Grol. Gottta get my 10k steps in, while also editing a stand up clip as we walk. Stand up clips are the new life blood of the industry, one IG/TIKTOK clip can make you famous. PRAISE BE TO THE ALGORITHM! LET ITS GLORY SHINE UPON ME!
11:00 – Get home, and pound two glasses of water, per my New Year’s diet rules. Post stand up clip on all social media platforms, fingers crossed this is the one that makes me famous.
11:15 – Therapy – oh no, I got too high and my zoom therapy is freaking me out. Feels like I’m telling my problems to someone on Chat Roulette, sometimes the future sucks.
12:00 – Fuck the clip I posted is bombing on TikTok and YouTube. But did kinda hit on IG and Facebook. Should I delete it? Will that make the algorithm god happy? Should I start doing shitty crowd work clips? But I don’t care how long people have been dating, or what they do for a living. Damn, imma load the Puffco with some live Resin a fan gave me last night. I start scrolling Instagram for a while, man I love this Puffco.
12:15 – I’m stoned outta my gourd watching a NBA TV condensed Sacramento Kings game from last night. I open my phone and get ready to start writing some jokes. (All day every day, I’m constantly thinking about stand-up. How I can get better, what can be a new joke, and what can’t. So, throughout the day, I’ll jot down jokes in my notes app on my iPhone. Normally the premise and a few little tags I thought were funny. Some of these are good, and some are hot dog shit. A few days later I’ll sit down and go through all the jokes with fresh eyes. The good ones I’ll write on a waterproof note pad before I take a shower.)
12:30 – Take a shit while smoking a joint. This is almost an art form; it’s a dangerous game to ash between your legs. But someone’s gotta do it, and I’m just the man for the job. Rolled up some Alien Labs for this special occasion.
12:40 – Time for my long shower. This is where the magic happens, this is how I write. I bring in the waterproof note pad with the water proof pencil. I got it on Amazon; it’s the coolest thing ever. I look at the set list I made on the note pad, and I start riffing. If I come up with anything good, I’ll write it on the waterproof note pad. I dunno why, but I’ve always gotten the best ideas in the shower. The water sounds like applause. I feel like superstar in the shower. An Arena comic. Oh shit, forgot I gotta clean up my beard too. Got a big night tonight.
1:00 – The final stage of writing is taking the note pad with the notes from me riffing in the shower, and rewrite the jokes back into my phone, and create a set list of the jokes I’m going to do tonight. A set list is extremely important to me, and it can change how my sets will go. Some people go on stage and just fuck around. I’m very technical and stick to my set list unless something comes up in the audience. It allows me to not forget a joke I wanted to work on. A set list is important because you don’t wanna start with something too dirty, or weird because you may lose the crowd. I do a set list like a sandwich. I start with some good faithful jokes that I know work, so I can get the audience on my side. Then I go into the newer stuff in the middle of the set, and I end with my best current joke to leave the audience with a good taste in their mouths. All this sandwich talk is making me hungry. Time for lunch.
1:15 – Reheat the meal plan lunch I made for the week. I hate meal planning because I’m always eating the same thing every day, and I don’t really like 3-day-old food. But alas I’m fat, and need to lose weight, so here goes ground turkey, rice, and asparagus for the third day in a row. How exciting. Starting to think I’d rather just be husky.
1:30 – Now it’s reward time. I like to roll something called the Steve Furey Special. Wonder where I got that name? I take a Grabba Leaf, and iron it w a little kief. The heat from the iron flattens out the Grabba Leaf and gets the keef to stick to the wrap. I then break up the weed by hand (I feel like over-ground weed clogs the blunt.) I add some Tutti hash, and some Raw Garden diamonds. Lastly, I take some live resin sauce and put about a ½ inch bar across the Grabba Leaf. Now, is this overkill? Sure. But I may change the name of the blunt to The Oscars, cuz it slaps harder than Will Smith. This will be the last time I smoke before my shows tonight. Used to love to be high outta my mind on stage, but now that I’m older I gotta be a lil’ more coherent. And if I smoke too much I can almost find a disconnect of stage. I only finish half the blunt.
1:45 – I play a rotation of games. Normally Madden, 2K, FIFA, Elden Ring, and Cyperpunk 2077. People hate on Cyberpunk, but I think it lightweight slaps. I love sports and open world RPG games. I hate people telling me what to do—probably why I became a comic, huh shoulda talked about this in therapy.
2:30 – Start research for my podcast This Week in Crime with Saul Trujillo. It’s a super fun podcast where we try and find the funniest crimes, and make fun of them as much as possible. It’s a battle of jokes about some pretty dark stuff, with one of my best buds. It’s a good time.
3:30 – Head out for the day and put the half a Steve Furey blunt in my pocket. Then drive to The Comedy Store.
4:00 -Record the podcast w/ Jon Sosis at the Comedy Store Studios.
5:00 – Drive to The Set Up at Citizen Public Market in Culver City. Driving is a huge part of L.A. comedy and most of the time takes longer than you’ll be on stage. But at least I’m in my car and not on a train with some homeless dude jerking off. Not that that’s a bad thing, just not in the mood today.
5:30 – Set up show – First show of the night is a show I co-produce w/ Richard Sarvate, Abhay & Zack Chapaloni. It’s every Wednesday at 8 pm and Sunday at 5:30 pm. Getting enough stage time as an L.A. comic can be hard, because you’re literally competing for stage time with the biggest comics in the world. So being able to do this show twice a week with some of my best buds is priceless. Also doesn’t hurt that they serve one of the best burgers in L.A. Sadly, I get the salad because, you know, the diet.
7:30 – Drive to M.I.’s Westside Comedy Theater in Santa Monica.
8:00 – Westside Comedy Theater is a diamond in diamonds. I’d say the rough, but nothing about Santa Monica is rough. Chris Gorbos runs a great club, and I get to watch Jesus Trejo crush it. Always a good time.
9:30 – Drive to The Comedy Store.
10:14 – The Comedy Store is my favorite place on Earth, and the best place to watch a show. Its one of the only shows in the world where you’ll get 2 arena comics, 4 theater comics, 5 fantastic comics you’ve never heard of, and one guy near the end who’ll make you think “maybe I could do this.” I have a Main Room spot at 11:00. So I grab my drink—a tequila repo and soda with three limes—then head to the green room. This drink is great, and I use the same cup all night. Because once the cup is more limes than alcohol, I know I’ve had my fill. Its science.
11:15 – I head to the Secret Comedy Store Back Bar to meet fantastic comedian, friend, and stoner Frank Castillo, Oni Seeds and Masonic Seeds to Puffco, drink beers, and smoke blunts. Holy shit, these guys always got the good stuff.
12:00 – I realize I’m way too hammered to drive so I leave my car at The Store, and get an Uber home.
12:15 – I say fuck the diet, I’ll start again next year. On the way home, I have my Uber driver drop me off at my favorite taco cart and I’ll just walk the rest of the way. I order 3 al pastor and one asada taco, tortillas well done and a large Horchata. I judge a taco cart by two things, the al pastor trompo and if they make their own tortillas. This one does both. I am happy.
12:30 – Walk home drunkenly holding the knife in my pocket (cuz these L.A. streets are wild), and a horchata in the other hand. Find half of Steve Furey blunt in my Carhartt jacket! Damn, must have smelt like a Rolling Loud green room all night. Light said blunt. Walk home. God, I love this city.
1:30 – Kiss girlfriend on her head before I pass out.