Cannabis Christmas Carols

Marijuana needs its own collection of special songs. What’s more, you can sing these carols all year long!

Holiday Greetings from the DEA

(Sung to the tune of “It Came Upon A Midnight Clear”)
They broke into my house last night,
The scum-sucking DEA.
They threatened my wife and kids with death,
If I didn’t play ball their way.
They broke my shit and handcuffed me tight,
A horrible night for all.
But now I’m suing for all my stress.
These fucks had the wrong address.

On The Run

(Sung to the tune of “Silent Night”)
Violent night.
I’m in flight.
All is lost
At such a cost.
My indoor garden is being seized.
Confiscated by raiding police.
If I’m caught it’s a felony.
I need a new fake ID.

No More Bong Hits For You

(Sung to the tune of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)
You’d better smoke up.
Don’t leave any bud.
No one like a bong with crud
Finish up that bong hit right now!
I like my bong hits nice and clean.
I hate black ashes; I want green.
Finish up that bong hit right now!
I saw you take a big bud.
I saw you pack that bowl.
You lit it up and took a hit,
But your smoking skills are shit!
You’re coughing now,
Teary-eyed too.
You’re a lightweight
And your face is blue.
No more bong hits for you right now!

Humboldt Hymn

(Sung to the tune of “O Little Town Of Bethlehem”)
O little county of Humboldt
How sweet thy buds do smoke!
No matter if it’s pipe or joint,
Your buds I only toke.
While law enforcement gears up
To wipe out all your pot.
I know the cops will never find
Your secret garden plot.

Ripped Off

(Sung to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)
I searched for some good seeds
From Holland to LA
I want to grow great weed
It’s got to be Grade A.
I ran into this dude
Whose seeds were Northern Lights.
They’re growing in my growroom now
So listen to my plight.
They aren’t pot seeds.
It isn’t weed
That’s growing in my house.
I got ripped off,
I really lost.
That dealer is a louse!
My garden’s shot.
I got no pot.
I’ve lost a lot of cash.
And now what’s worse
I’m really cursed.
The plants gave me a rash!
Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts
Read More

Vic Mensa Pays It Forward

The Roc Nation hip-hop artist discusses prison reform, problems with pharmaceuticals, benefits of plant medicine, and empowering the youth.
Read More

100 Gecs Are On A Vibe

Hyperpop duo Dylan Brady and Laura Les open up about speaking their own creative language, their upcoming sophomore album, and stealing snacks while stoned.
Read More

Seed Synergy

The creation of new cannabis cultivars thrives via international collaborations.