Too High and Don’t Know What To Do? Drink HIBEGONE!

Take the edge off with HIBEGONE.
HIBEGONE
Courtesy HIBEGONE

We’ve all been there. You take too fat a dab or eat too many gummies (or brownies for the OGs) and suddenly you’re launched into outer space. You then realize, to your horror, that you have to work/pick up your kids/attend a family function in a couple hours. While there’s no proven way to completely kill your high—aside from eating an entire Cravings box from Taco Bell and laying on the lawn gripping the grass to keep you from falling off the astral plane in which you projected—there is a handy little shot that can, at the very least, take the edge off and significantly shorten the duration of your hash-induced daze.

Enter HIBEGONE. This proprietary formula comes in a convenient 5 Hour Energy-looking bottle and lives up to its name. Formulated with ingredients to counteract the negative side effects of too much THC, HIBEGONE is the first product of its kind to make such claims. 

Courtesy HIBEGONE

So What’s in it?

L-Theanine is a clinically studied amino acid that has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety levels, helping to eliminate arguably the worst part of getting too stoned: paranoia. There is nothing worse than spiraling about that one awkward thing you said at a dinner party three months ago or thinking too hard about whether or not you turned your flat iron off before you left home. 

Alpha-GPC improves focus and cognitive function, with evidence suggesting that this organic compound increases the release of acetylcholine—a key neurotransmitter that plays a role in memory. Theoretically, intake of Alpha-GPC could alleviate symptoms like forgetfulness, a hallmark of being high as a kite. Will it help you find your phone and car keys? That remains to be seen. 

THCV is a unique cannabinoid that can interrupt and block the connection of THC, thereby reversing its effects. The CB1 antagonist is a known appetite suppressant (no more munchies!) and up-regulates energy metabolism, which is a fancy way of saying it mimics a stimulant. With HIBEGONE, you can free yourself of the compulsive urge to gorge yourself on ice cream and pizza until you’re sick and find the strength to peel away from the very comfortable couch you’ve melted into.

Courtesy HIBEGONE

Does HIBEGONE Actually Work?

I tried the Monkfruit sweetened after-cannabis aid following a short tolerance break and a gigantic bong rip. You know, the ones that make you cough so hard you get lightheaded. Needless to say, I was flying. Now that I’m in my thirties, I notice that my anxiety spikes when I pass a certain threshold of stoned-ness and my highs last longer than they did in my twenties. Call it getting older, call it a decreased tolerance, I just can’t handle my weed like I used to. 

I suspiciously shook the small plastic bottle, chugged the bubblegum-flavored liquid and waited. Normally when I get baked I like to get very comfy and do a mindless and stationary activity like watch South Park or scribble crappy poetry in my journal in a feeble attempt to avoid the relentless deluge of intrusive thoughts. After about twenty minutes I noticed the brain fog, racing thoughts, and physical heaviness lifting ever-so-slightly. I had energy to do the dishes. After thirty minutes I had the mental clarity to make a to-do list for the week and not get distracted by the cat or sucked into TikTok. 

At forty-five minutes post-ingestion I realized I wasn’t really that high anymore. Usually the first smoke after a t-break lingers for hours, but it was *almost* like I never smoked at all. My eyes weren’t half shut, I wasn’t sleepy. Hell, I wasn’t even that hungry. I don’t know if it was a placebo-effect psychological trick I was playing on myself, but regardless, I possessed the cognition (and anxiety levels) to get out of the house and run errands. If there’s one thing about me, I hate being in public places when I’m too baked, so that’s saying a lot. 

At the risk of sounding gimmicky, this mighty little bottle is downright revolutionary on an anecdotal level. I’ll definitely be keeping a couple of these around the house and in my purse for those inevitable consumption miscalculations and the subsequent regret that follows. To put it bluntly: I’m a HIBEGONE believer. 

Courtesy HIBEGONE

Words of Advice

The warning label in the bottle very clearly states that the product may cause you to fail a drug test, so buyer beware—although if you’re using HIBEGONE because you’re too high that ship has kinda sailed, hasn’t it? As far as usage instructions go, it’s fairly straightforward, however, you must drink the entire bottle for maximum efficacy. On the flip side, do not exceed one bottle per day.

I’d wager you could drink half the bottle and stay half-stoned, if that’s what you’re into, but that’s an experiment and conversation for another day. For now, I’ll relish the fact I can become unstoned if I so choose, a wildly novel and reassuring notion for this pothead of almost twenty years.

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